Destines Playground
by dogangelsrule
Summary: Sora is said to be the light in everyone’s darkness...But, what about his own darkness? SoRiku, AkuRoku, LeonCloud AUish.
1. Chapter 1

Lin: I was kind of in a crappy mood last night, basically because of stupid friend stuff. I kind of want to be back in school, sad huh? Ah well, soon. Anyway, since I was in such a bad mood, I got the inspiration to finally type this up. I got this idea from reading PantherKat13 fan fictions. Go read them, they rock. n.n

**NOTE:** Just wanted it to be know that I changed it so that Sora is wearing a long sleeve shirt instead of a tee-short. Dunno how I did not notice this earlier..

_Anything in italic is Sora's journal in which he writes in every chapter or so. _

Summary: Sora is said to be the light in everyone's darkness…But, what about his own darkness?

Warnings:

-MOST of the story shall be in Sora's POV. I'll let you know if and when there is a change.

-Shounen-ai, also might be considered yaoi for there might be lemon, but I'm not sure right now.

-Teen angst/suicidal actions as well as thoughts. (I'm sure everyone knows what I mean by this warning, right?)

-Pairings: Riku/Sora, Roxas/Axel, Leon/Cloud

It should be noted that I own no characters in this fan fiction. I am using the characters for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy.

_Hello…My name is Sora, and I'm a teenage cutter. I don't do it by accident, it's on purpose. The darkness is to much to handle. My brothers…Roxas and Cloud…they have no idea…They believe I am the happiest person in the world. They don't know that that is my mask. My mask of happiness. I'm good at this mask, you know. I'll just keep my mask up, no one will ever tell…_

_I cut in secret, which you properly guessed by now. I have never told anyone that I cut…besides you now, that is. I don't think anyone has ever realized that I could possibly be a cutter…that darkness does not effect me. After all, I am the Keyblade master, right? I am suppose to be able to beat the darkness out of all hearts, out of everything…Yet, no one realizes that I have my own darkness…My own darkness that lies in secret for all…_

_I'm also gay…or maybe I'm bi…or maybe I'm transsexual…maybe I'm pansexual…or maybe I'm just confused. Maybe love if not for me. Roxas and Cloud…they always say that everyone loves me, but do they really? Do they really accept the real me? Or do they only accept my mask? _

_I wonder…do Roxas and Cloud only know of my mask as well? I guess so…I can hide behind my mask so well…it would not come as a surprise that they did not know. _

_Roxas is my twin, did I say that? Well, now you know. Cloud is my older brother. It's hard to tell sometimes if Cloud really loves us or not…but I think he does. Deep down he loves us. He told us once that we are his light that keeps him out of the darkness._

_Me? The light that keeps him out of the darkness? I can't keep myself out of the darkness, so how can I possibly be keeping Cloud out of the darkness? Is Cloud suffering because of me? Is Cloud suffering in darkness because I can no longer be of any use besides a good fuck every once and awhile? What about Roxas? Is he suffering in the darkness as well?_

_What? The good fuck every once and awhile comment? That's because it is true. I had a boyfriend, yes a boyfriend, recently. His name was Seifer. We were together about two years…but not anymore. We broke up about two months ago. Seems that someone heard that comment and told Roxas…from that, Cloud somehow found out. From what I was told, Roxas and Cloud went and beat Seifer into a bloody pulp. But, I think that was a little extreme. Seifer was just making a truthful statement, why beat him for it? I guess Cloud and Roxas don't want to believe the statement. I'm am the 'light' after all. I guess that the 'light' can't have such a statement following him. Anyways, after that, they kept on asking me questions. Did he ever take advantage of me or anything like that? Did he forced me into anything? Huh, like I'm going to tell them the truth. So I lied. I blushed and told them we never did anything, that what he meant by the comment was that I was good when we made out. They gave me odd looks, but seemed to believe me anyways. Good. I did not want them to know that I was practically raped every other day. That I was told things every day that make me cut deeper. Who knows what would happen then. No, I don't have HIV or anything like that. Well, not that I know of at least, but I don't believe I have it. Besides, even if I wanted to get tested, how would I without Cloud and Roxas finding out what happened? _

_Anyways, moving on now. I'll tell you some more about out relationship and other things later…Right now, it would be better if you knew what was currently going on. It seems that Mom found out about the whole Seifer thing. She freaked. A lot. So, she decided to send Roxas and I to the same school as Cloud. That's where we are going now. We are on the train to Cloud's boarding school. He says that we are going to have to share dorms and stuff. I hope I will be able to write in private…_

_I just looked out the window and noticed that we are almost there. Oh goody. Time to put my mask back on…I'll write more later, I promise. I'll make sure to tell you everything that has to be told, I swear. Really, I do this ti- _

"Sora!" A voice cries out as I write. The voice shocks me into dropping my journal and pen to the floor of the train. Deciding it would be better to leave it than pick it up and gain it attention, I turn to the voice that was right next to me.

Ah, Roxas…my twin.

Standing at five foot four, I note that Roxas is once again wearing all black and white. White tee-shirt; black pants; those black converse with the white in them that he is oh so fond of; black and white bracelet on each arm; a black and white ring on his right middle finger…kind of a girly outfit if you ask me. But, that's Roxas for you. Don't get me wrong, I do love him, I love him a lot.

Oh gosh, what if I am in love with Roxas? I am very close to Roxas…but he is my twin so…what is it called when you fall in love with you own twin? Twincest?(1) Or maybe my mind is just playing games with me again.

Right, that. Okay, moving on.

Like I said, I do love Roxas, so that means I am allowed to call him girly if I want. Besides, I'm sure he would not mind…

"Sora," He repeats, concern flashing in his sky-blue eyes. It's odd, we are twins and all…but his eye color is a shade darker than mine. Odd, huh? I'm the 'dark' twin, and yet his eyes are darker than mine. Maybe there is a secret message there…

"Yes, Roxas?" I finally reply, glancing at his hair while I am at it. That was yet another odd thing about us. His hair is almost blond while mine is almost brunette. Also, his hair tends to sticks up more to just one side while mind sticks up all over the place. Besides the hair and eyes, we look very alike. We are the same height, we walk alike, we even talk alike sometimes. But, he is my twin, so…

"We are almost there," He replies. "Wanna come with me to try and find our carry on bags? Stupid train person, why did we listen to him?"

Oh yeah, we learned a valuable lesson when we got on the train. Do you know those train people outside the train who check your tickets and stuff? Well, this one decided to check our carry on bags before we could board. He said he did it to everyone, but I think he only checked ours because he thought that he were hiding something in our hair…of course, I never said that out loud. I just acted cute and hoped that he would give us our bags so we could get on the train.

That didn't work.

Instead of carrying the stuff on ourselves, the man told us to go on the train without our bags. He said he would place them on the train himself and help us find the bags later. We tried to argue…but, there was a crowd behind us and not even Cloud's glare could stop them…So we had to get onto the train without out carry on bags. Lucky for me, I had my journal in my pocket. All I needed was for someone to go look in my bags and read it when I was away. That's why I always carry my journal with me. Can't let anyone read the inner most thoughts of Sora, now can we?

"Sure," I told him as I get up. Once up, I reach down and grab up my journal and pen, can't forget that stuff on this stupid train.

Standing up straight, I give Roxas a smile and a cheerful, 'Let's go!' before following him in our fruitless search for our carry on bags. Hopefully, we will be able to find them.

As we walk, I look down and consider my own outfit. Purple long sleeved shirt with the words 'Super Special Awesome!' written in white lettering (2); light blue jeans; high top purple converse where the white part was colored black; I guess my outfit can be considered slightly girl as well. I mean, I am sure there is some girl out there who would normally wear this outfit. (3)

But, ah well, I can't change now. Besides, I am comfortable with what I am wearing and I'm not gonna change just because of a comment someone might make. Then again, maybe no one will make a comment. Which will be better, I guess. Maybe no one will talk to me. I'll talk to them, hidden behind my mask…maybe people will like my mask, maybe not. Most people seem to like my mask, guess because it is so happy. And everyone wants to be happy…But, I can't be truly happy. I can't get rid of the darkness…so, how can I be happy whe-

"Cloud has already found his bags." I hear Roxas tell me, cutting off my thoughts. "He told me where he found his, hopefully ours are in the same area."

"But if not," I reply. "We will simply look for them. Right?"

"Right." Roxas smiles at me. Such a pretty smile…Is my smile that pretty? "And if we don't find them…maybe we can live in this train and not go to school?"

Oh yeah, did I mention that Roxas really does not want to go to school here? It's odd, really. Roxas does not want me anywhere near Seifer…Hell, HE even made the suggestion that we go to school with Cloud. Yet…he does not want to go to school here. When I asked him about it, he told me that he did not like starting someplace new, meeting new people and all…but, he knows that I am going to be there with him, so it will be okay. After that, he hugged me and we went off to bed. But…sometimes I wonder…

"Roxas…" I start off. "I'm sorry."

Roxas gives me a odd look before he replies.

"What do you mean? You didn't o anything."

"Look," I started again, "It's my fault you have to start school here. That's what I'm sorry for, making you do something that yo-"

"Stop it."

Before I knew what was happening, I was pushed down into a empty seat on my right. Before I can get up, Roxas is on top of me, pinning my arms down to the seat. He is also sitting on my legs, keeping me in place. Oddly enough, this position is not new to me. Roxas, and Cloud sometimes, usually like to sit on me when I am saying anything 'negative' about myself. I don't say anything too negative out loud, can't get them suspicious now can we? But when I happen to say sorry for something that is 'not my fault,' they like to pin me down and tell me to stop being silly.

I guess Roxas does not care that two girls in front of us are currently squealing and trying to find camera's to take our picture while a old couple to the side of us looks at us like we are some type of squashed bug on the ground that they just stepped on. Then again, he usually does not care what other people think. He cares about what I and Cloud think, but not others. I guess that's because he loves us. Maybe this is what twins do.

I note that Roxas has now leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine. His dark blue eyes are currently locked on mine, trying to find emotion. Better start staring back before Roxas decides something is wrong.

"Stop what?" I ask, even though I know what he is going to say. But, my mask make me act a little idiotic sometimes. Not fully, just a little. Makes people love my mask more.

"You know what I mean," He says, still staring. "Look, none of this is your fault. Besides, I don't want you anyway near that asshole. Look, I'm sorry that I really don't sound happy about the whole switch, but I'm okay with it. Really, I am. Maybe something good will happen here. So don't worry, okay? I, and Cloud as well, still love you, so we'll do anything to make your life better. Just tell us if someone bugs you, okay?"

Make MY life better? What about how they live? Why can't I save them? I'm the stupid Keyblade master and I can't say my own brothers. THEY have to save me. Great, just great. What I really want to do it tell Roxas that he should worry more about himself. That I am simply a cutter who can be fucked and no one should care about. I should tell him, right? Right now, I'll tell him. Then, maybe he will have a better life. He'll be happy, and no longer have to worry about me. I should tell him, Cloud as well. I should, I should…

But instead, I simply let a smile grace my face. My good old smile, so old and fake. No one sees that it's fake. You don't know how many times I have patted myself on the back for being so good at hiding.

Roxas takes my smile as a positive thing, I believe, because he smiles back. Lifting his forehead off mine, he kisses my cheek and sits up. He's still on my legs. I reach up so that I'm sitting on my elbows and look at Roxas, wonder what will happen next.

"If you keep this up," A amused voice sounds. "Those two girls in front of you are going to faint from blood loss."

Sure enough, when we turn to look, what the voice said was true. Those two girls from before that were trying to find a camera? Currently, they are holding napkins to their noses as blood seems to be gushing out. Erm, oops? Ah well, Roxas is the one who sat on me, not the other way around.

"So what?" Roxas asks, during around. "Not our fault."

I look up as well to give the voice a bright smile.

"Cloud!" I yell, knowing that it had to be Cloud. I think he's the only once of the train who is brave enough to talk to us.

Unlike Roxas and I, Cloud is tall. He's almost six foot while Roxas and I were stuck with the short gene. Not fair, really. Then again, it's more that I got stuck with the short gene, not Roxas. Roxas usually grows taller before me, then I catch up. It's odd, really.

Right, get back to Cloud. Cloud, kind of like Roxas, is wearing almost all black. Blood red tee-shirt; black jeans; black boots; and yes, it looks slightly girly on him as well. Nothing any of the three of us wear can look manly on any of us. We all got stuck with the girly looking gene instead of the manly one. Not fair.

Cloud's hair looks like a mix of ours. It's blonde, yes of course, but the spikes are weird. They spike on one side like Roxas, but also spike out all over like mine. Like I said, a mix of both our hair. Cloud's eyes, though, are a bit different. They are green-blue while ours are pure blue. Currently, his eyes are happy. I remember a time when those eyes were horribly cold.

That was a few years ago. Those few years ago, Cloud use to never joke around or anything. I mean, Cloud has always been quiet, but never that quiet. I know why he was so quiet, I remember Cloud telling us. He did not tell us everything, but enough. We could guess from what he told us. He said that he broke up with his boyfriend, and that the whole relationship had not been pretty at the end. We didn't question him, just hugged him. It's odd, but the three of us hug a lot…Moving on again.

Why are his eyes happy again? Because he met someone new. Leon, I believe his name was. Cloud says he goes to school here, so we are going to meet him.

Anyway, I'm glad that Cloud is happy again. I hate when Cloud is sad. I hate it when he is depressed. Or when Roxas is depressed. It makes me cut so much deeper…

"I found your stuff," Cloud says, pointing to something on the ground. "Make sure it's all there."

Roxas climbs off of me to check his bags. I her the two girls let out a sigh of disappointment. Sorry, girls, that's all the show your going to get for today.

Getting up myself, I check my bag. I only brought one carry on bag with me. All of our stuff that he would need in the year was taken to school early. Still, I don't get why both Roxas and Cloud had two carry on bags…ah well, I'm happy with mine. Less to worry about. Hm…everything look to be in order…

"I don't get how you could possibly be wearing long sleeves in this weather, Sora." Roxas comments as he shifts his bags slightly. "It's so hot out.."

"How long until we are there?" I question, pretending I had not heard Roxas's comments. Can't tell him I have things to hide under those sleeves.

"Right now." Cloud points out the window where we see a tall pair of black gates. How nice. Looks like we are going to jail with those gates. If only the train would keep moving…ah, no. Course not. The train HAS to stop. Damn.

Next to the gates, there is a big sign. The sign is black with white lettering. The lettering reads,

'Destines Playground'

What kind of school are we going to again?

Notes:

(1): I had to add that bit in. I happen to be a fan of Twincest, in case you can't figure that out. 3

(2): The saying 'Super Special Awesome!' is from LittleKuriboh's Yugioh the Abridged Series! His videos rock. In case you don't have the site, ask me about it.

(3): Yesh, I'll admit it. I was looking at my own outfit when I was writing about Sora's outfit. I don't have to shirt…but I have the jeans and high top purple converse. 3

Lin: Well, there ya go. First chapter is done. What do ya think? Thankies.


	2. Chapter 2

Lin: I realized that my, erm, ratings as well as warnings were a bit, if not completely off, with the first chapter. So, I edited a bunch of stuff around, go check it out if ya wish. I also fixed the summary if ya noticed.

Also, just so you know, I will no longer be putting warnings on each chapter. People should know what to expect with this story simply by reading the first chapter. But I will be putting who's POV it is in each chapter beginning. I wonder who's POV it will be this time. XP

I own nothing D:

This chapter is: Sora's POV.

--(Fanfiction hates me and makes me use this as a line breaker D; )--

_Destines Playground…_

_What kind of name is that anyways! I mean, what a creepy name. Makes me feel as if I am going to be played or something…I don't wanna be played. _

_I wonder if Cloud felt the same way when he first came here? Properly not. Maybe Roxas will feel how I feel…?_

_Oh crap, I just remembered something. Cloud told us that we are going to be sharing rooms with someone. Just great. What am I going to do? When I need to…well, you know, how am I suppose to if I am sharing a room with someone? _

_I'm going to have to try and scare the person off…I'll be too loving. Yeah, that's it. I'm act all cute and hopefully my cute act will get my room mate to leave as soon as they can. Then I can have the room all to myself…A room where people have to knock to get in, not barge into. A place where I can be isolated from everyday life things. A place where I can help myself get through the day with the use of a knife…_

_I'm liking the idea more and more. Now all I need to do it get my room mate so scared of me, or so annoyed of me, that they leave. Hm…how am I going to do that? I guess I'll have to figure out a plan while we are walking to out rooms. _

_Okay, plan 'Get-A-Room-To-Myself' is now in action. Let's hope it works. And soon. My wrist is slightly beginning to itch as I think of the plan, not good. _

_Not good at all. _

"You know, Cloud…" Roxas comments as we walk off the train to the gates. "This place seems kind of creepy already…"

Ha! So Roxas does feel the same way I do about this place. Good, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way about this place.

"That's just the outside," Cloud replies, stepping next to the gate. "It's much better inside."

"Is it really?" I ask, stepping next to Cloud and hopefully looking worried in a cute way. "The name is kind of creepy to…"

"Trust me," He says, now pushing on the gate. "It really is better inside. I love it here."

Yes, YOU love it here Cloud. But, what about us? Is this place really that great? I mean, we have to share a room, which might mean that this school does not many rooms…so is it a poor school? Or maybe I'm just annoyed because of the room mate stuff. Yeah, I think it's that. Looking over, I notice that Roxas is not looking very reassured. Time to make him feel better. I hate when Roxas is sad. Cloud as well.

"Well," I say as Cloud opens the gates. "If Cloud loves it here, then it must be a good place."

"…Hm. I guess we can give it a shot."

Well, I guess that's better than nothing, right? Now all I need to do is make sure I seem cheerful and do something to make Roxas laugh. Or just something to make him happy again.

"Hey, Roxas?" I ask as we walk past the now open gates, not looking where I am walking. "Do you want to fight later?"

Roxas loves to fight. So does Cloud and I. Roxas and I have a Keyblade, while Cloud has something else. He never told us the name of his weapon, but we do know that it hurts like a bitch when you get hit by it. He never tries to really hurt us, but it still hurts sometimes.

"Fight?" Ah look, Roxas looks happy already. "Sure, where? Cloud, they do have some form of field here around?"

"Yeah, I'll point it out later." Cloud replies, still walking in head of us. "We are almost there."

"Why it is so far back?" I ask, still walking ahead, not noticing that Cloud and Roxas have stopped walking. "I mean, do they want their students to die o-"

**SLAM! **

Oooooo, shit, that hurt. What did the hell did I bump into to? Shit, I fell right on my ass in front of Cloud and Roxas. I can hear them snickering at me softly. I know that they are not laughing in a hurtful way…but still, what the hell did I bump into?

I get my answer when a hand in suddenly put a little under my neck. Oh gosh, I bumped into a person, didn't I? Shit, now I'm going to be beat up because I did not pay attention where I was going. Just great, Sora, just great.

"Hey…" I hear from above me. The hand in front of me shakes a bit, but the voice says no more.

Grabbing onto the hand, I help pull myself up while hoping that I can get out of this without getting beat up.

"I'm sorry," I start. "I really didn't mean to-"

I am cut off by the same hand letting go of my hand and putting that hand on my cheek. With that hand, my face is lifted high so that I may meet a pair of bright, blue eyes.

These eyes…they remind me of Cloud's, oddly. And not just the color, the feelings. They looked as if they have been hurt before, but now are better. I wonder how these eyes were hurt? Maybe the same way Cloud was hurt?

Maybe not…it was properly something different. That scar across his face…I'm sure that has it's own story. Maybe the hurt can the same day this person got that scar…?

Unlike the three of us, this figure has hair that goes down instead of up. The figure's dark brown hair is slightly under the their shoulders, and yet, this figure does not look girly at all. Not fair.

Wow, this figure really is tall. Just about as tall as Cloud. Maybe even a few inches taller than Cloud. I wonder if these two know each other…?

Meep, those eyes. Once again, I have someone looking into my eyes. Why me? Why my eyes? Go look at Roxas's eyes, they are better than mine.

"Your Cloud's brother…" The figure says in a slightly deep voice.

Eh? What the hell? How does HE know? I mean, it's not like I look like Cloud or-

…Wait, never mind.

"Yes, he is." I hear Cloud say, removing me from the figure's grip. Ah, my savior! "One of my brothers, that is."

The figure looks over our shoulders to see Roxas, who is looking kind of suspicious. Huh, I guess Roxas does not like anyone hold me. I guess that falls under the whole, 'I'm-protective-of-my-property' brother thing.

Wait, did I just say that I'm Roxas's property? Then again, if I am only Roxas's property because he is my brother, then I am Cloud's property as well…?

Oh, forget it.

"They look like you," The figure comments, now looking at Cloud.

"Yeah, well…" Cloud motions for Roxas to come up and stand next to me, which he does. "Anyway, the brunette is Sora while the blond is Roxas. You two, this is Squall Leonhart, my roommate."

"Just call me Leon." The figure, now named Squall Leonhart, commands of us. Oops, I mean Leon. Gotta remember that. I really don't need to piss this guy off. I can tell already. But…maybe he is a softie on the inside…?

I hear Leon talking to Cloud and Roxas. I should be listening, but something is bugging me…Wait a second…Leon? That name sounds so familiar…Didn't Cloud say something about a Leon…? Was he the…?

"You!" I yell out, unable to stop myself. "Your that child molester, right?!"

That's what Cloud said Leon was, right?! Right!

…Uh-oh. Look at those looks all three of them are giving me. I think I made a big mistake…erm, oops?

"Child molester?" Leon asks, lifting a eyebrow in what I hope was amusement. "Is that what you say about me in private, Cloud?"

"Perhaps," Cloud smirks at Leon for a second before turning to me. "Sora…he's not a child molester. That's someone else."

"Then, what is Leon to you?" I ask, curious. I could have sworn that Leon was the child molester.

"You'll find out soon enough." Cloud replies before turning to look at the school. "Come, time to find your rooms. You'll meet everyone else later."

With that, we follow Cloud and the mysterious Leon to the school. Roxas walks next to me and playfully pokes me in the stomach. When he pokes me, I can't help but wince as I look down at the area where Roxas's poked. My tummy is so fat, I just know it. Damn it, I thought this was getting better, but I guess it is not.

Damn it, it's gonna be harder than ever to skip meals now that I'm in school. I'm sure everyone has to eat at a certain time, so how can I skip? I'm sure Cloud or Roxas are gonna make sure that I go down to meals. That, or they'll bring food to me. Damn it.

Eh? Why do I skip meals? I thought I made it clear a second ago. I skip meals because I am fat. I am way to fat for a teen my age. Really, I'm not kidding about this. I mean, I weight 88 pounds! That has to be WAY to much for my age! I mean, I am sure that everyone else my age is properly 44 pounds!

That's my current goal, ya know. To reach 44 pounds. Of course, Cloud and Roxas do not know about this. I would never tell them about it. They already think that I'm too skinny for my age, but really I am not. I need to lose weight. So far, what has been working, is skipping meals. I try and skip at least one meal a day. Sometimes I can get away with more, depending on how the day goes. Luckily, neither Cloud or Roxas has caught me yet. I know they would freak, but I don't get why.

Okay, back to the problem. How can I skip meals? Well, I guess if I can't skip meals, maybe I'll just throw them back up later…? Arg, I'll figure it out later…As well as figure out how to get rid of my roommate.

"Room 220," Leon says. I noticed that we have stopped walking in front of a room with the number 220. Neat. "This is Roxas's room. He's sharing with Axel."

"Axel?" Cloud asks, turning to Leon. "Your kidding, right? They are gonna kill each other."

"Is Axel that bad?" Roxas asks, looking at the door. "Is there anyway to get a single room?"

"Only if there is a big problem." Leon answers, reach a hand up to the door. "Don't worry, you'll be fine."

Roxas does not look so sure. Awww, I feel really bad for him. My poor twin.

"What kind of name is Axel anyways?" I hear Roxas mutter as Leon opens the door. Meep.

"Hey!" We all hear from inside. "What's your problem?"

"You have a roommate, Axel." Leon says, beckoning us in. "Your roommate is Roxas."

Woah…look at this guys hair! It's fucking red! Like fire! And it's all spiked up in way…like fire…

Oh shit, how come I have a feeling this guy is a pyro?

But…he does have really pretty dark green eyes…with black tattoos under each eye…That's, erm, nice…

Oh wow, look at how tall he is. He really is tall…tall and skinny…and he's walking over to me? What the hell? Should I run? Wait, where? Oh shit, he's right in front of me…

Before anyone says anything, the guy in the room bends down next to me and puts his arms around my waist. Without hesitation, he tightens his grip around my waist and pulls me close to his chest. Um, okay…what the hell?!

I heat Cloud and Roxas growl somewhere. Oooo, that does not sound good.

"Your soft," I hear the guy mutter in my hair before reaching down and letting our eyes meet. "I'm Axel, got it memorized?"

"And I'm Roxas," I hear. "And if you don't let go of him, your gonna have my foot up your ass."

Ooooo, that's gonna hurt.

"Your Roxas?" The guy, Axel, asks. "Oh…"

I feel his arms leave my waist and I see Axel stand up straight. Okay…this is really weird. Hopefully my roommate is not like him.

"Sorry," I hear him say. "I thought he was Roxas. Are you two twins? Hey, how about you be him and let him be Roxas? He's nice and soft."

"No, I'm your roommate." I see Roxas glare at Axel. "Sorry, but I'm not letting you near Sora."

"Sora?" Axel turns to me and looks at my eyes. "Sora…that means sky in Japanese. Matches his eyes…"

"Um…" I mumble. "Thanks."

"He even has a soft voice." Axel chuckles. "I like you, Sora."

"Yes, but…" Roxas walks up to me and wraps a arm around my waist. "I'm your roommate, not him."

"Mmmm," Axel eyes me. "I know."

"So stop eyeing him!" Roxas finally yells, annoyed.

"Maybe…" Axel smirks at Roxas.

"Come on, Sora." I hear Leon interrupt. "Let's go to your room."

"Or you can stay here…" Axel suggest, still eyeing me.

Gosh, why does he keep on eyeing me? Eye Roxas, we ARE twins ya know!

"No," Roxas lets go of me. "Sora, go find your room with Cloud and Leon."

"Right," I say, turning to get out of the room. As I am walking, I see that Cloud looks pissed. Shit, I did not mean to make Cloud pissed.

In the hallway again, we close the door to room 220 without Roxas. Poor Roxas, being stuck with such a creep.

"That Axel…" Cloud mutters as Leon looks for my room.

"Cloud," I say, looking at him. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to piss you off."

"What are you talking about?" Cloud's eyes soften. "You didn't do anything. I should have remembered that you have to be heartless to not like you, Sora."

Awww, that's sweet. But, Cloud, would you still say that if you saw my real side? Would you really say that if my mask ever broke?

"Your room is 222," Leon points to a room. "Right next to Roxas's. Just so you know, rooms next to each other share a bathroom. So your sharing a bathroom with Roxas. Your bathroom is right across this hall."

At that, Leon points to a room behind in which is between and across my new room and Roxas's room. Awww, we have to walk over there? Ah well.

This time, Leon knocks on the door. But like in the other room, he does not wait for a answer. He opens the door.

"Riku," He says. "This is your roommate, Sora."

Riku…? Deciding to put my mask even more on, I walk into the room bravely…

…and almost fainted at the sight of the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

Oh. My…THIS is my roommate? I have to live with someone…like this?

This…Riku…is currently sitting up on a bed, looking at us with light green eyes. I can almost see a hint of blue in them, but that might be me. Framing his face, is long silver hair which goes to his shoulders. He does not have a real expression on his face…but he still looks beautiful.

Riku is now standing up and walking closer…he's about my height, and looks skinny. Damn it, I wish I could be that skinny. Maybe even skinner than that…

"Hello," I hear him say in a perfect voice. Ah. "I'm Riku."

"I-I'm Sora," I stutter, cursing myself inside. "I-it's nice to meet you."

Riku, like Axel, is eyeing me. Why does everyone keep on eyeing me?!

"Your skinny…" He muttered before turning to look at Cloud. "Your brother?"

"Yeah…" Cloud says, giving Riku a odd look.

"Sora," Cloud addresses me. "We're gonna go to our room now…It's number 120. Come find either of us if ya need anything, okay?"

"Okay." I say, knowing that I would never even think of bothering Cloud. "See you."

Giving me a fond smile, Cloud and Leon walk out of the room and shut the door. And now I am stuck in here…which Riku…

How am I suppose to last this year again?

--

Lin: There ya go. That's all I'm gonna type for now. I know it's a bit short, but ah well.

Heeeey, in case anyone is wondering, my birthday is Saturday, the 22nd. :D

So yeah, I'm gonna try and post again soon. So see ya then!


	3. Chapter 3

Lin: How is it that when I wanna read a certain type of fic, I can never find it? I mean, WTF! So what if I have weird taste, I'm sure that someone has to have taste at least a little similar to mine. Right? RIGHT?!

Arg, don't mind me. My English teacher has a grudge against me and is about to fail me…yet I finish ALL my work before ANYONE else, I write KICK-ASS essays, I'M the only one in the class who knows the ANWSERS...Yet, I'm gonna fail while everyone else passes? Yeah, that's is so right...

Um…after looking back at my own chapters, I noticed three things:

1) Yesh, I made Axel a pervert on purpose. But don't worry, he will still end up with Roxas, he just likes to flirt with Sora. ;D

2) Fan fiction really does hate me.

3) …I think I need a beta. Badly. D; (More info on this at the end of the chapter.)

Since fan fiction hates me and does not let me do what I want, I shall now put down just about ALL the warnings I can think of that might or will happen in this fic, otay?

**NOTE:** I changed Sora's tee-short to a long sleeved shirt is chapter one, thus why now it is slightly different. No big difference, just thought it should be known.

Warnings:

-AU...ish.

-This is rated M, just in case.

-MOST of the story shall be in Sora's POV. I'll let you know if and when there is a change.

-Shounen-ai, also might be considered yaoi for there might be lemon, but I'm not sure right now.

-Teen angst/suicidal actions as well as thoughts. (I'm sure everyone knows what I mean by this warning, right?)

-Possible depression.

-Cursing is good for the soul ;D

-Anorexia/Bulimic thoughts/actions.

-Pairings: Riku/Sora, Roxas/Axel, Leon/Cloud

Otay, now that that is all out of the way, time to give you all a chapter! Slightly filled with teen angst! Also, I'm have one, maybe two, song fics over here that I'm working on. Make sure to look at the bottom to find out info about beta stuff.

This chapter is in: Sora's POV. (Also, I dedicate this chapter to Koi-Bara, because she is just to cute, yay! XD)

--(Go eat the damn cupcake already! D; )--

_Okay, I have to ask…_

_Is this guy even __human?_

_I mean, how is it possible that someone can be so beautiful…so perfect…so fine looking…so…sexy…_

_Oh gosh, snap out of it, Sora! You can't go and drool over your roommate! Get your head back on and think of ways to get this…Riku…so annoyed that he lets you have your own room!_

…_But, if Riku leaves…then I can't find out more about him…I can't stare at him anymore…and is it bad that I want to know more about it? No, it's not. I'm just curious, that's all. I am just purely curious about this…Riku…That's all! _

_Then again…what happens if I slip and he finds out? Then I know for sure he will hate me…_

…_So what if he hates me! He can hate me! I-I-I would be fine with him hating me! I mean, I just met him and I don't even know him yet. So, he can hate me if he wants, I won't mind._

_Right? Right. I won't mind if he hates me, because I am living to be hated. _

…_Well, I'm also living so that people can love my mask and be happy by my mask…but that's a different story. _

_Oh shit, he's staring at me with those gorgeous eyes. So perfectly shaped, such a beautiful color…I would love to stare at them for ages…_

_Wait, Sora! You don't even know if he is gay or not! He could be straight for all you know! He properly is. I mean, with his looks, he could get any girl easily…He could also get me easily, but that's not the point…_

…_I know my original plan was to get my roommate out of the room as soon as I could…but I never imaged someone like this being my roommate…_

_You know what? I'll keep him. For now. For now, I will act like I normally do with my mask on. See if he likes it, see how he is. I-I'll just have to not cut for awhile…No big deal, right? I mean, I cut in private all the time, how could it possibly be different now that I have someone in a room with me?_

_It'll be okay, Sora…Keep him for a bit and see how he is. If you don't like or can't handle without cutting, then get rid of him. But for now, keep him. You'll be able to cut in the bathroom or something like you usually do. And if…Riku…ever asks me where I was, I'll lie like I lie to Roxas and Cloud. Everything will be okay, Sora…_

_Everything will be fine. It will be just like being home, where no one knows behind the mask. No one knows of my skipping or cutting…_

_No one, not even this…Riku…will ever know._

_Will never know…_

--

"So…" I start off, happy that I did not stutter this time. "Your…Riku?"

"Yup," He replied, holding out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Sora."

"You too," I say, grabbing his hand in my own. "It's very nice to mee-"

But before I can finish, I am pulled by my hand, hard. So hard that I lose my balance and fall…right on Riku. All 88 pounds of me. Oooo, I hope Riku does not notice how much weight he suddenly has on his chest because of me.

Damn it, what is with me and falling today? Or knocking into people?

Oddly enough, Riku does almost the same thing that Leon did. He reached down and had our eyes meet. That's another thing, what is with people and my eyes?

"Pretty…" I hear Riku mutter. Pretty? I gulp and suck in my stomach, trying to make myself seem as skinny as I possibly can.

"Erm…" I ask. "What's pretty?"(1)

Riku, sadly, did not get the chance to reply. For before he could, the door to our room was opened and that Axel pyro from before is in our room, along with Roxas.

Time seems to stand still as both Roxas and Axel stare at me on Riku's chest with him looking at me. Ooooo, I hope Roxas is not mad.

"Already moving in on my property?" Axel says, grinning. "That's not very nice, Riku."

"He's not your property," I hear Riku and Roxas say, almost at the same time. Huh. Cool.

"Yeah…that's what they all say…" Axel replies, still smirking. "Just know that I'm here for you, okay Sora?"

"O-okay…" I stutter, once again cursing myself out. This is so awkward. I mean, I was fine when Riku and I were just talking, but now with Roxas and Axel in the room…I could only imagine what it would be like if Cloud was here as well…with Leon…

Oh gosh, thank you, Roxas! Roxas has pulled my away from Riku and into his arms. I'm thankful…and yet I'm not. I would not mind staying in Riku's arms…

Snap out of it, Sora! Why would Sora ever love someone like you, anyways? You have nothing to offer him, so better off not trying. Besides, I bet he already has a girlfriend…a girlfriend who he fucks into the mattress every night…So every night, you'll wish you were his girlfriend…

That's properly right…Riku properly already has someone…I should just give up, I'll never get him.

Never…

"Sora?" I hear Riku ask me as I look at the ground.

"Yeah?"

"I want something to eat…Want to come with me to the kitchens?"

The kitchens? I don't know why, but that sounds so dirty to me. A good dirty, believe me…But, still dirty. But…it would be nice to spend some time with Riku…get to talk to him some more…maybe flirt…maybe try some of the moves Seifer tried…

But, then again, Seifer was…is gay, but is Riku? Should I even bother?

A dull itch at my wrist makes me shut my eyes softly. If the other three were not in the room, I'm sure I would whimper, but I can't…

"No thanks," I finally reply. "I-I'm not feeling to well."

"Your not?" Roxas turns me around in his arms to look at me. Reaching a hand up, he presses it against my forehead. "Are you okay?"

I will be fine as soon as you three leave the room and I have a knife…

"Yeah, I'm fine." I reply, brushes Roxas's hand away gently. "I think it's just a headache…"

"Maybe your hungry." Axel inputs, also looking at me. "Sometimes eating makes a headache go away…"

Arg, eating? Please don't tell me Axel thinks food is the solution to everything…

"Good point," Oh no. Not you to, Riku! "I say you need something to eat."

Damn it, why did you have to go to the dark side, Riku? Don't make me eat…How am I going to lose if I don't eat?

I'm about to argue, but Roxas seems to have made up his mind. Very gently, he pushes me over and onto my bed where I land, laying down.

"Why don't you sleep for a bit?" Roxas request. Looking at me as I lay. "I'll go get you something to eat, okay?"

Well…if it will get you all out of the room…Hm…

"Sure," I try to get comfortable on my new bed. "I'll be here, waiting…"

"Good," Roxas smiles and turns to Axel and Riku. "So, can one of you two show me the way? Maybe you, Riku?"

"I'll come with you guys, to." Axel replied before Riku can. "This way, I can see what Sora likes to eat."

Roxas does not look happy, but Riku seems okay with it. I guess Axel and Riku know each other. I'll have to ask Riku later.

"Let's go," Riku says, pushing Roxas and Axel to the door. "We'll be back soon, Sora."

And they are going…going…Gone! And they are out of the room and…there it is, they closed the door.

Ah, finally alone. I have spend just about all day with people, and now I am finally alone.

Is it bad that the first thing I want to do, is cure the itch in my wrist as soon as I am alone?

That does not mean I'm obsessed or have a problem, right?

No, of course not. I can stop cutting whenever I want to. I don't need to cut, I just do. I can always quit, it's easy.

…But, not today. I-I'll quit tomorrow! Yeah…that's when I'll quit. But, for now, let's help myself a bit before they come back, eh?

Getting up quickly, I go to my carry on back and begin to look around. I know I am not suppose to, but I always have two small shards of glass with me at all times. I usually keep one shard in my pocket, but not today. I was worried that Cloud or Roxas would find it since we spend so much time together today. Now, since we are at school, I can start to carry one with me in my pocket again.

There it is, one of my shards. I tenderly take it out of the bag and hold it in the palm of my hand. It's a clear and small, yet really sharp, shard of glass. I don't even remember where I got it, but it sure works well, I know that.

There are a lot of times, when I take out one of the shards, that I can't help but just look at it for awhile. I know it's just glass, but it's really pretty in my eyes. It may be clear, but to me it has many colors. A lot of the times, the color I see is black…but sometimes it is a different color. Sometimes purple, sometimes green, sometimes blue, sometimes a mix of colors…

This stupid itch…almost as if it does not want me to wait until I get to the bathroom to cut. Almost as if it is calling to me…huh…

…Well, I'm sure that one little, small cut will be okay for right now. I'll just make a really tiny cut while in here…then I'll race to the bathroom if I need to and do a bit deeper.

Yeah, I'll do that.

With the glass still in my palm, I pull up the sleeve on the right of my shirt to revel my mutilated wrist. My left wrist is just as bad, I'm not going to deny, but I always seem to cut on the right first, for some reason. Some of my older, healed, cuts are white which makes them slightly visible, but not enough to cause chaos. One would have to lean in really close to see them truly. The old scars are surrounded by new cuts and scraps that are either in the process of healing or in that in between were they decide if they should scar or not. I, personally, do not think any of these marks would cause a alarm, but I still wear long sleeves just in case. Gotta be careful.

Tightening my grip on the shard of glass, I can feel my breath quickening in anticipation as the glass begins to move.

Closer…closer…almost there. And…there, just a small line. Just a tiny, tiny line…

Blood…I can see the little dots of blood laying on top of each other around the little cut that I made. The cut barley cuts the first layer of skin, yet I still bleed. Maybe the cut is deeper that I think…but it seems so small to me.

The blood is starting to run…It's tiny, but I can see it. Don't run, blood, I can see you…

Pulling my wrist up, I gently lick the blood that was running. See? I found you. You don't have to run, blood, I know where you are…

As I continue to lick, I start to forget where I am and that I am in school…and that I did not check the door to make sure if was locked before cutting.

Before I know what is happening, the glass shard is pulled out of my left hand and my right arm is grabbed during mid-lick.

Oh shit…I didn't lock the door, did I? Oh shit, and someone just had to catch me…oh shit…oh shit…

"Don't whimper," A voice commands. I was whimpering? "I won't tell…"

"Y-yeah?" I challenge and finally look up. I can't help it, I gasp. For a second, I though I was looking at Riku…but then I realize, this is not Riku.

This person in front of me has silver-colored bangs which go a bit under his chin. I can see that his hair goes on to be even longer is the back. His brilliant, cat-green color eyes are staring at me with such intensity…it's almost scary. I note that he is wearing tight, black, leather pants; a tight black shirt; and a long black cloak. Wow, this guy seems to like black…yet his hair is silver and his eyes are green…

"Yes, I won't tell…" The voice says again, now a smirk on their face. "I won't tell…but your going to have to do something for me first."

"Do something for you?" I ask, feeling dread in my stomach. This can't be do. "Wait a minute, who are you?"

"My name is Sephiroth," The figure says. Sephiroth? "And I'm going to guess that you are Sora…"

"How do you know?" I shoot back, yet again.

"Your eyes tell all." Sephiroth chuckles at me. "I can see Cloud in them. After all, I have been staring at Cloud's eyes for a long time…how would I not be able to recognize them?"

"Looked in Cloud's eyes?" I ask, thinking about. The name Sephiroth sounds familiar… "Why?"

"That's not important." He replied, his grip tightening on my wrist. "What's important now, is our deal."

"Our deal?"

"Yes…our deal. If you don't agree, I'll tell dear Cloud about what I just found you doing…So, do you agree?"

Well, what choice do I really have? None. I can't let Cloud know…or Roxas…or Axel…or Riku…or anyone. No one can find out…

"Fine…" I look at my wrist for a second before looking at him. "What's the deal?"

"Our deal shall be…" Sephiroth pauses, looking me over. "…That you shall be my slave."

"Y-Your slave?" If I can see my face right now, I'm sure it would be in a state of shock.

"Yes, my slave." Sephiroth grins. "You will have to do whatever and whenever ever I want you to do something."

"For how long?"

"We'll figure that out later…" His grip loosens slightly. "So, Sora…what shall you do? I can just as easily go and tell Cloud what I had just found…or you can be my slave. Choose wisely…"

Choose wisely? You really did not give me much of a choice. Either be your slave, or face Cloud. And if Cloud knows, other will know and…no, that would be horrible. I can already guess what it would be like and…

No one would love me anymore. No one would love my mask…no one would even try and see behind my mask, or even look at my mask. No one would love me…

No one at all.

I have to do it, I have to. Besides, how bad could it be? I'm just acting as a slave…

"In case it helps any," He interrupts my thoughts. "I'll make sure to call for you when Cloud or anyone is not around. Our deal shall be only between us, if that makes it better. It will be our secret as I know your secret."

…Well, that does make it a bit better…As long as the others don't find out, I guess I'm okay with being his slave…

"Fine…" I finally reply, quietly. "I shall be your slave…Sephiroth. But, you must keep up your side of the deal as well. A-and that includes keeping this slave deal and m-my…secret, as a secret, okay?"

"As you wish, dear Sora." He gently pulls on my wrist so that my wrist is near his mouth. "As you wish…"

With my wrist close enough, Sephiroth reaches out and licks the blood that had started to come out of the cut again, all while smirking at me.

Oh gosh…what have I gotten myself into?

--

(1) : In case anyone is curious, you can talk while sucking in your stomach. I tired, and it works. So ha. xP

Lin: There ya go! Another chapter done. Yeah, I know that the story part was really short...but I had so much info to tell...Don't worry, it will get better after this chapter, since I won't have as many updates and stuff.

Now…for beta info…:

As many of you might be able to guess, I have never had a beta, ever. Yeah, sad right? Because of this I have a few rules that I wish for you to follow if you want to be my beta:

1) Please, respect me. I may tease, but I'll respect you if you respect me.

2)I usually finish chapters at night, around 9:30, 10 or later at my time. And I', sorry, but I can't finish chapters any earlier in the day. I have school and such like that, so typing comes at night.

3) I'm lazy. And I'm not afraid to admit it. So don't be scared if it takes me a, erm, little bit to send you the chapter to edit.

4) You may take your time editing the chapter, but send it to me as soon as you are done, okay? Also, if it helps, send me the chapter in the time I send it to you. Like if I send you a chapter two weeks after the previous chapter, please try to re-send it to me within those two weeks.

5) I'm not going to just send you chapters without getting to know you first, sorry. I want to, ya know, TALK to my beta and get to know them before sending them chapters. We may talk on either AIM, Gaia, or e-mail. Does not matter to me where we chat, just that we chat.

6) If no one is willing for the job, that's fine to.

7) Contact me over review or Gaia or somewhere if you are interested.

Otay, that's it. Arg, I had to put in so many updates…Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! Let's hope I get the next chapter up soon. Oh yeah, my birthday was last Saturday. Yay. XD


	4. Chapter 4

Lin: So..Just about two years, I believe, have passed since I updated. I dunno what to say truly..Just hope life is going good for anyone, if anyone, is reading.

I'm not gonna promise utter amazement, I will tell you that now. I have some ideas going around and some research to do for it, so maybe I can get this thing on it's crappy feet again. Maybe.

It should be noted tho, that I changed something in the first and third chapter. See, I looked back and noticed that Sora was wearing a tee-shirt. Not something one would wear when trying to hide scars. So, I changed his tee-shirt to a long sleeve shirt. Sorry, I should of realized that early, dunno how I did not.

I have also decided to say fuck warnings. If I throw something at you that you find horrifying and simply can not stand to read, that's fine. Exit is on your left.

_Italic is memories/flashbacks as well. There will be a memory in here instead of a journal entry. _

This chapter is in: Sora's POV.

"Sora?" I can hear Roxas's voice a little in front of me where I am sitting on my new bed with my head down. "We're back, finally. You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry about the wait." I can now hear Axel. He sounds like he is right next to Roxas. "We got, ah, lost."

"No..," Is that Riku's voice now? Wow..all in front of me...as if they care. "You were just being a ass, Axel."

"Well, we got food out of it, so it's all good." Axel sounds happy. "So, Sora. Hungry?"

Not even close. How am I suppose to eat after what just happened to me? But..I gotta fake it. Can't let them know...

"Mmm," I look up, hoping I look happy. "I guess..."

"Do you still have a headache?" Roxas steps up closer to me.

"No..," Yes, I do. It's worse now, but I'm not gonna let Roxas know that. "I'm fine, now."

"You don't sound it," I can practically hear Riku frowning. "You sound worse."

Maybe that's because I do feel worse. I mean..Sephiroth..

"Really, I'm fine." I don't dare look any of them in the eye. So, instead, I look at their arms. "So..what did ya get?"

Grinning like a manic that he properly was, Axel walked over and dumped the bag that was in his arms onto Riku's bed.

"Hey!" Riku walks over to his bed. "Why mine?"

"'Cause Sora is already sitting on his," Axel grins. "Plus, I don't want to get Sora's bed messy..yet.."

"But mine is fine to put food all over?" Riku does not fully sound pissed, but he might be..

"Yes." Axel walks over to me and reaches a hand out. "Come on..Food!"

Smiling weakly, I grab his hand and was about to get up myself when Axel decides to help. Instead of holding his hand still so that I could get up, he pulls me as soon as I grab his hand. Landing on his chest, for properly the third{1} time today, I'm not fully shocked. I feel his arm snake around my waist and pick me up, placing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. From the other side of the room, I hear Roxas let out a sound of annoyance but Axel ignores him in favor of turning around and carrying me over to Riku's bed. When close enough, he drops me gently onto Riku's bed while leaning down so that we are eye to eye.

"Sorry, this is the last stop." He says, still looking at me.

"Thanks..," I mutter, leaning back slightly so that he can not see my eyes. If he stays close for to long, he might begin to notice..

"You didn't have to carry him," Roxas is next to Axel. "He can walk, ya know."

"But," Axel whines. "He looked so tried.."

"Well, duh. He has been dealing with you all day."

"Your just saying that because you love me."

"What? Hello. I just met you and-"

"So? Love at first sight."

"There is-"

"But, sorry, Roxas. My love is for Sora."

"Sora? Like I'd let you date him.."

"Why not? Sora loves me to, right?"

"Ya know," Riku jets in. "He might be tried because all he has heard today was basically your arguing with each other. Right, Sora?"

...Huh? Wait, me? Oops.

"Um, yeah.." I say, looking at the floor. "Yeah.."

"Let's eat," Riku comes over and begins to look in the bag. "We'll all feel better after that."

Not really, Riku..Nothing is going to help me forget what happened and what I am involved in now. Arg, what did I get myself into..

--_Flashback_--

"_Good," Sephiroth smirked and reached over to lick my left cheek. "Very good, Sora."_

"_..What do you want me to do?" I asked, a bit scared. If I am remembering correctly from what Cloud has said about Sephiroth, then I think I am in big trouble.._

_Very big trouble._

_Oh shit, what if Cloud finds out, or what if Roxas finds out? Or Riku? Or Axel? Or..Well, anyone really. But, then again, they can't know about the other thing, which basically got me into this mess so.._

"_Oh, we shall figure it out as time goes by," He replied simply before standing up and pulling me up as well. _

"_Your light," He noted. "Very light needed. I like that.."_

_..Oh, shit. _

"_Let's clean you up," He continued, taking my hand. "Can't let anyone know you were sad, now can we?" _

_Tugging on my hand, I have no choice but to follow Sephiroth as he leads me into the bathroom I have to share. Damn it, why did I not just go in there to cut? I had to be that much of a dumb ass and cut right in the middle of my damn dorm room without the bloody door locked so any fucking person could just fucking walk right in and fucking catch me. Just look at you now! You got caught, cause you let your bloody 'needs' take over! How weak can you fucking get? _

"_No need to scold yourself mentally," Sephiroth chimes in as we reach the bathroom. "You should be thanking your lucky stars that you were caught by me. Imagine if you were caught by anyone else! Why, Cloud would have been told by now and just image how disappointed he would be that his adorable brother is a cutter!" _

_..Yup, just hit me while I'm down. Go ahead, why not now bring up some more about me?_

"_Although..It makes me wonder.." He continues to chat as he makes me sit down on the floor of the bathroom. "Cutters commonly have more than one secret sin that they commit, I wonder what else you commit? Ah, no, do not tell me now! I want to find out for myself! Now, let me see those lovely arms.."_

_Like I would ever tell you anything. I know how to take care of myself, I know what I am doing. I can clean my own cuts out, I have been doing it for awhile now. Still, he is looking at me expectantly so I let out a soft sigh before holding out both arms weakly. He grins as he grabs onto my arms and pulls up the sleeve on my left arm, seeing how my right one was already up and my wrist was already bleeding. _

"_Ooo, look at all of these!" He exclaims. "All these pretty scars, some fresh! Some old! Hm..From how white some of these are, they have to be pretty old..Still, you seem to know at least a little bit about healing without magic..Not everything though. Do not worry! Dr. Sephiroth is here now!"_

_Okay, what the fuck? Seriously? Is this normal or something? _

_Without even moving, or so it seems to me, Sephiroth has a bucket next to him along with a few, small, hand towels. I wonder if Sephiroth has a weapon..Or if he likes to fight..Still, that does not explain how all that stuff suddenly appeared next to him..Or maybe I was just not paying atte- _

_I am caught off mid thought as I feel myself being pushed down gently. My head hits the floor with a dull thud, but I do not even feel it. I'm rather confused right now, thanks, to feel any pain. Before I could wonder anymore, I have to blink in surprise when I feel a sudden weight placed on my hips and a cynical smile in my face. Right, Sephiroth.._

_..Who is currently sitting on my hips looking like he was having a great day..Um, awkward turtle?{2}_

"_Oh hoh! Sora! Here again, I see," Sephiroth say, in what I guess he thinks is a professional sounding voice. "What are you here for today, Sora? A check up? Or did you just wanna see me, hmm?"_

_As he says this he leans down so I can feel his breath right on my mouth, his eyes trying to catch mine. I try to make sure my eyes do not catch his, but it is a bit hard, seeing how he is on top of me._

"_Ooo, a check up? Awww, and here I was, hoping you just wanted to see me. Oh? Your arms? Your wrists? You want me look at them for you to make sure they heal properly? Sora?"_

_A pregnant pause fills the room, in which I blink before hesitantly nodding at his now frowning face. Luckily, this seems to be what he wanted for he is grinning again as he sits up slightly so he is once again sitting on my hips instead of laying down on me as well._

"_Well, you do know, Sora, that I am a very busy man. You may be one of my favorite patiences, but it cost me as well to make room in my schedule just for you! Ah, no, do not offer me money. I do not accept money. No, I have a rather ingenious idea. Tonight, after everyone else is asleep, you will sneak out and meet up with me in my room. Sound good?"_

_What?! No, it does not sound good! How am I going to get out and back in without getting caught? I thought he was going to make sure no one else knew about this deal. _

"_Oh, do not worry." He continues. "I will make sure you get back to your room before people wake up. Besides the fact that you own me, this is also a order, Sora."_

_..That was fast. We made this deal maybe five minutes ago and he is already making demands that I must follow. From the looks of things, this could go on for awhile if I do not do something about it, Sephiroth seems able to talk for hours on end..They others will be back soon, it can not possibly take that long to get food from the kitchens and back..Gotta make sure Sephiroth is out of here, and fast._

"_Oh, yes, Doctor!" I reply, hopefully eagerly, before he can continue to talk. "I would love to come visit you while everyone else is asleep! Tell me, though, which dorm do you live it?"_

"_Luckily, close by." Sephiroth answers in a singsong voice. "Very close indeed. I live at the end of this hall, silly, little, Sora!" _

_The end of this hall? That means..He lives about ten dorm rooms down from me..That is both a blessing, yet a curse. I can get there and back fast, but that also means he can visit me and leave fast without it truly looking suspicious..My train of thought is abruptly stopped as I feel Sephiroth licking my right wrist yet again. What is with this guy and licking me?_

"_Tell me..What do you know about the tongue?" He asks casually as he stops licking and reaches over for bandages and such. _

"_The tongue?" I can't help it, my curiosity is peaked. Why is he asking about that? "Not much..Why?"_

"_The tongue is one of the most sensitive organs in the body." He lectures, wiping blood from my wrist with a towel and then holding it firmly over the cuts to stop the bleeding. "What many do not know is that besides being able to taste, the tongue can also sense smell with the multiple sensory receptors that it contains." _

_{3} _

"_Smell with your tongue?" Is he kidding? "Why would anyone want to smell with their tongue."_

"_It is a very useful trick to know," He's grinning again. "A person's taste is so much better when you realize you can smell it as well. The combination of smell and taste of a person can be very addicting, so very addicting indeed. However, most people cover their nature scent up, which clogs the senses and there is no longer the possibility of addiction for the body can not truly identify a person with a scent and taste."_

_..As lovely as all of this sounds, this truly has nothing to do with anything. Why is he telling me all of this?_

"_You, Sora," Did his grin just widen? "Seem to be one of the few that does not cover up his nature scent..Makes me want to just have you, right here and now. I can already see, your skin will be like a drug to me. A heroin, if you will, my own personal heroin for me to claim more and more each day..Sora.."_

_Leaning forward, he catches my eyes with the most serious expression I have seen yet._

"_Sora..Your mine." _

–-(End Flashback)--

"Sora?" Roxas is calling me, grinning, yet I can see concern in his eyes. "I made sure to get you some apples."

"Thanks," I replied, smiling at him. "You know me too well."

To keep up appearances, I reach into the bag and after a little searching found a rather appeasing looking apple. Even though I know I should not eat because of my weight, I can feel my mouth watering in anticipation. I had not eaten anything since dinner the previous night and the apple looked so tempting..

Giving into my 'needs' yet again, I'm such a weak fool, I clutch the apple tightly in my right palm while bringing in up to my face. I inhale the sweet smell the apple has to offer before opening my mouth and taking a bite of the sweet fruit. Instantly, juice mix in with crunchy apple bits as I crew with my eyes shut. Food in my enemy, yet I can not help but enjoy it sometimes. Guilt for eating appeared in the back of my mind, but I shunned it away for now. For now, I would enjoy my apple and worry about my weight later.

"..as if he has never eaten one before.." I hear muttered around me before I open my eyes. Axel is staring at me with a amused looked.

"Your treating that thing like it is the first time you have ever had it," Axel observes.

"I'm simply grateful for it," I huff, slightly offended. He made if seem as if food was a joy for me or something. "There are so many people out there without food."

"He has a point, you realize." Riku states as he opened a bag of chips for himself. "We are rather lucky that food is easily assessable."

"Sora always acts like that," Roxas commented as he tilts his head to the side slightly. "He's just more in tune with his scenes than other people."

"Scenes?" Axel questions, while Riku frowns slightly. "What does scenes have to do with enjoying food."

"Well, the tongue does more than just taste," Roxas stated rather smartly. "The tongue also smells before it taste, which is why food taste so good sometimes. If the tongue did not smell as well, food would be a little bit blander than what we are use to. Everyone knows th-"

"Sora? What's up?" Riku cuts in, looking at me. "You look as if you have seen a ghost."

Might as well be a ghost. Damn it, of all the things to bring up, Roxas had to bring up and say almost exactly what Sephiroth had said..

"I-I'll be right back," I stuttered as I stood up. "I think I saw a water fountain on our way here.."

I jet out of the room before anyone of them can offer to walk with me, apple still in my hand. As I look down at it, I can feel myself getting sick to my stomach as it unintentionally reminded me of Sephiroth.

Before I know it, the apple in crushed in my hand and juice is freely flowing onto my hand for I had gripped the apple too tightly. As I continue to jet down the hall, I notice a sign for a bathroom. Assuming that anyone can use this one, seeing how it was not attached to a room, I push open the door and rush towards one of the stalls. I did not even realize I had throw the crushed apple core against the wall of the stall as I fell to my knees in front of the toilet the stall contained. Normally, public bathrooms disgust me to no ends but those thoughts do not have a chance to reach my mind because my hands are now on the sides of it and my head is currently close enough to it I can just about smell the disgusting water inside the bowl befor-

Ah..Yuck, so gross. I hate throwing up, truly I do. I do not think anyone truly enjoys it, but I am pretty sure I despise it a bit more than others. I should be use to it by now, seeing how I sometimes throw up as well, but I just can never get use to the whole process.

Panting slightly as my body finally decided it has had enough, I cough a little bit before lifting my head up and away and then back against the stall wall. Letting out a moan as well, I close my eyes and just hope that no one has noticed me come in here.

..If I can't sneak into a silly bathroom, how the hell am I suppose to sneak into Sephiroth's room tonight without getting caught?

–

"There you are," Riku's voice exclaims as I finally make it back to our room. I do not know how long I was in that bathroom, but it must have been long for Roxas and Axel are no longer in the room. Oddly enough, I wish they were still here. If they were, I would not have to worry about making myself seem like more of a freak in front of my hot ass roommate.

"Y-yeah, I got a little distracted.." I reply, smiling at his concern. "Sorry."

"No problem," He saids calmly, flicking his hair back over his shoulder. "Axel and Roxas went back to their room, it's getting late and we all need to get some sleep."

Not me, Riku. No, I have to go and be some perverts little slave at night. No sleep for Sora.

Walking towards my bag which was now on my bed, I rummage through it for a little bit before pulling out black pj pants and a long sleeved dark blue night shirt. Gotta make sure I am wearing dark stuff so I will hopefully, 'blend in with the darkness' as I wander around tonight.

"Your gonna be hot," A voice comments behind me. I jump and look over to see Riku staring at my pjs. I had forgotten he was there, somehow.

Wait a second..Riku is my roommate..Meaning he will be sleeping in here as well...Ah, shit. I gotta sneak past hi m as well, not good. Gotta start working on getting my own room. No matter how much I think that Riku could possible be a good friend, maybe more, I gotta get my own room. Besides, he would not want to be my friend once he found out how horrible I truly am.

No one would want me.

"O-oh?" I question, looking at him before grabbing my shirt and pj pants to take with me into the bathroom we share. Damn it, do we truly share everything? I need my own room, where the hell could I possibly hide with him in here as well?

"It does not get cold enough for that type of pjs till at least December. Around this time, it feels like 80 or above in all the rooms at night."

"I'm, erm, a cold-blooded person," I come up with quickly as I walk towards the bathroom. "I will be fine!"

Besides, I can't wear short sleeves. Besides the bandages Sephiroth put on, I also have those scars. Dear oh dear..

"I would warm you up," I heard him mutter in return to my retreating back, but I know I can not turn around and ask about it for Riku is always changing himself.

Wait..Is Riku..flirting with me?

–

Cranking one of my eyes open, I look around quickly before looking across at Riku's side of the room. His back is turned to me, but I can tell even from here that he is fast asleep. Hopefully he is a deep sleeper, or else I'm fucking.

Sitting up as quietly as I can, I swing my legs over and place my feet on the ground. Standing up, I wince when I hear the bed creak slightly. See, if I was not so fat, that would not have happened.

Hoping Riku would stay asleep, I tiptoe across the room, open the door and go out into the hallway while closing the door behind me with a snap.

There is no going back now. Time to find out what Sephiroth has planned for me.

..Maybe if I plead a little, he will show mercy..

Doubt it.

–

Notes:

{1}: -shrugs- Axel seems to like having Sora on his chest.

{2}: Sorry, I had to. XD;

{3}: I got that information for Loveless, volume one or two I believe. I do not know jack shit about science, so don't quote me on the whole 'tongue' info. ^^;

Lin: That is it for now! Yeah, ya can tell I just started getting truly lazy after awhile. Like I said, I dunno if this is gonna even go anywhere anymore, but we shall see...


End file.
